Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
