Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
