Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
True college students do jello shots in the library
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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