Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
