There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
