just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
