from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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