idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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