my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
