I want to have your abortion
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
