I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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