My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
