Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
only you would photoshop your dick
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
