I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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