I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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