Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
