I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
