Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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