He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
