Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
There's always time for handjobs
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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