I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he was CRYING into my vagina
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
