and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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