You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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