Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
