Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
