I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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