yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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