His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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