id be glad to
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
