Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
