epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
