Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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