I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell