Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
