no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind