I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."