and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.