Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table

(804): View more from Virginia

by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?

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(919): its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table (804): by asking you if you bought one for the apartment? http://tfl.nu/5ql8

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(541): View more from Oregon

we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.

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(541): we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people. http://tfl.nu/d8wc

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(443): View more from Maryland

I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.

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(443): I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/l068

Replies (25) Good night (1212) Bad night (6493) Order T-Shirt
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.

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(484): Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd. http://tfl.nu/wjyh

Replies (33) Good night (3613) Bad night (1054) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.

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(508): Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere. http://tfl.nu/v9sm

Replies (17) Good night (3633) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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(705): View more from Ontario

I love having hate sex.

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(705): I love having hate sex. http://tfl.nu/fz63

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(309): View more from Illinois

The "puke-towel" started to grow something...

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(309): The "puke-towel" started to grow something... http://tfl.nu/d1rv

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(240): View more from Maryland

Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces

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(240): Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces http://tfl.nu/jwb7

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?

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(+44): Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/0o8e

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.

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(502): Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room. http://tfl.nu/s5zk

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(248): View more from Michigan

No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.

(1248): View more from

That'll put some boobs in that bra.

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(248): No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it. (1248): That'll put some boobs in that bra. http://tfl.nu/9gj6

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS

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(306): Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS http://tfl.nu/mduw

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(719): View more from Colorado

I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.

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(719): I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room. http://tfl.nu/d9w2

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.

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(202): I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself. http://tfl.nu/zw8t

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(712): View more from Iowa

I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.

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(712): I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair. http://tfl.nu/sv3u

Replies (1) Good night (232) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt

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