drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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