I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
