That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
