also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize