that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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