I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
