What did we do last night that was yellow?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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