so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize