Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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