I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
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I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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