filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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