Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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