i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
