Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
