That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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