I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
