at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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