A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
