so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
