Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
