my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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