Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
