You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
