Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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